Allison Gilbert, LMFT - Marriage & Family Therapist



Mother's Day and Birthdays

Posted by allisongilbert on May 13, 2012 at 11:40 PM

I love May because I get to celebrate both my birthday and Mother's Day.  It feels like a month full of fun and a time to treat myself to whatever I want. 

For me, birthdays & Mother's Days have always been days of doing whatever I want to do.  It's not that every other day of the year is not for focusing on myself but there's something about birthdays & Mother's Days that have given me more permission to do whatever I want to do with my day.

"It's your birthday (or Mother's Day), you get to choose where we go out to eat." "It's your birthday, you get to have cake!" "It's your birthday (or Mother's Day), did you have a happy one?"

On these special days I get to make all the decisions, as if the rest of the time I don't?  I get to eat sugary stuff guilt free, as if the guilt must be present every other day of the year?  I get to ask myself, "what do I really want to do right now?" every moment of the day as if every other day isn't my life. 

My 50th birthday was just after my cancer surgery and since diagnosis, I've been living my life, every day, like each day is my birthday.  So this year's birthday/Mother's Day is not so different actually, from any other day of my week. Whenever I remember it's Mother's Day today, I stop and ask myself if I'm really happy doing whatever it is I'm doing at the moment, like I do now, every day.

So this Mother's Day, I'm remembering my desire since diagnosis, to live a life that's stress free and meaningful.  Each day is special and every day is about living and loving the life I have and the people who share it with me.

I have implemented permissions, priorities and perameters in my life so I can keep my stress levels down. This has enabled me to have a birthday or a Mother's Day 365 days of the year for the rest of the time I have coming to me.


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